This World You Must Have Crossed
by adagio11
Summary: [CHAPTER 2 UP! Maybe it's a choice I have] He did know her. Better than neither of them could ever imagine. Sequel to My eyes are shining bright. Please R&R!
1. This World You Must Have Crossed

**This World You Must Have Crossed**

**Summary: **He did know her. Better than neither of them could ever imagine. Sequel to My eyes are shining bright

**Pairing: **Tony and Kate, angst I guess

**Disclaimer: **Not mine

**Author's Note: **So, this is the third sequel since people seem to want them. Now I guess I should add chapters instead so I don't have to come up with new titles, because that's hard. Every devoted fic author knows what I'm talking about. And as always, please drop off a review.

**Part of lyrics: **_Boston _by Augustana

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_In the light of the sun, is there anyone? Oh it has begun...  
Oh dear you look so lost, eyes are red and tears are shed,  
This world you must've crossed... you said..._

_You don't know me, you don't even care, oh yeah,  
You said  
You don't know me, and you don't wear my chains... oh yeah,_

_Essential yet appealed, carry all your thoughts across  
An open field,  
When flowers gaze at you... they're not the only ones who cry  
When they see you  
You said..._

_You don't know me, you don't even care, oh yeah,  
You said  
You don't know me, and you don't wear my chains... oh yeah,_

Angrily Kate rounded the corner, out of sight from the bullpen. And Tony. Now she leaned against the wall, closing her eyes and taking deep breaths. Thoughts rushed through her mind. Kevin had really been seeing someone else. Kate felt so stupid. It all came together now. The name slips, the tacky lie about his sister. And how Tony had tried to lay it down gently for her. She would have anticipated this. And now things were a mess. She would have to face Tony sooner or later since she'd been rather rude to him. But now right now. She wasn't even sure if she could face Abby right now. Sighing, Kate stood and walked for the only place where she could sort her thoughts.

-

I cursed myself over a million times. Kate had rounded that corner more than 30 minutes ago and she didn't seem to get back soon. I should've shut my big mouth. Let her be happy because she deserved it. I knew I should go after her, making her talk. That's what friends do. But, imagine; Kate opening her heart to me. Highly unlikely. Now I was probably the co-worker who destroyed all her relationships. After an hour, without Gibbs or McGee in the bullpen, I took off to find Kate. My first guess was Abby, after all they were best friends. But the lab tech was busy working on her evidence report. Then I went to the roof. No Kate. The old bench outside the main entrance. Nada. I got a bit worried. Where could she be? She had left her purse behind which meant no cell, wallet, ID or no Sig. Then it struck me and I quickly hurried back inside.

When I entered the dark, empty gym, I immediately spotted Kate in a dimly lit corner. She'd changed into her gym clothes and was angrily punching the bag than hung from the ceiling.

"Hey, take it easy" I called out softly. Startled, she spun around, fists ready but upon seeing me she dropped her guard and just glared.

"I don't wanna talk to you" she said harshly, then she turned back to the bag. She punched and kicked without taking further notice of me. I sat down on the bench by the wall.

"You know I'm sorry, Kate" I said as she paused to catch her breath.

"Whatever, DiNozzo. Since when do you care?"

"I know you, Kate. And you know me and you should know that I'm sorry"

"You know me?" she said skeptically.

Then I snapped. How could she assume that I didn't care about her or that I didn't know her?!. I stood, walking closer to her.

"Why do you always assume my intentions aren't serious?"

"Oh come on! I can have a list of reasons by tomorrow" She said with a glare. I glared back and continued. "Why can't you just accept that I want to help?! I know you trust me, Kate. With your life. Everyday"

She just stared at me, her mind trying to determine whether I'm serious or just joking her again. I kept her gaze.

"Fine" she surrendered. "What do you want me to say?"

"Whatever you want to say" I said seriously. Slowly she took off the gloves and tossed them on the floor. She began to pace back and forth, avoiding my gaze, instead finding the floor much more interesting.

"Katie…-" Finally she turned her face up and to my horror I see tears running down her cheeks.

-

I knew I owed him an explanation. The look on his face had told me that he actually cared this time. I felt a bit relieved. Having someone there. Although I would never admit it, I knew Tony was always there. Now, I looked up at me and I saw guilt flash before his eyes as he spotted my tears. I stopped pacing and looked him in the eye.

"Sorry it's just that…I hate myself for always thinking the best of people" I began. He just nodded. "I know all these guys are…just crap but I can't stop thinking that maybe…I've found the right one you now" God, I couldn't believe I was talking like this to Tony.

"Sometimes it's like…having to choose between work and a personal life. In some way, work gets personal and suddenly I choose it before everything else"

I paused. Was I even making any sense? He looked wistfully at me.

"I know what you mean, Katie"

Suddenly a small smile grazed by features. The nickname. I would never admit this either but I felt comforting for having him calls me that. Even though I sometimes would like to strangle him, I know I'm always Katie´ to him. Just a small thing that made me comfortable. I gave him a small smile before turning to throw a few more punches at the bag. I heard him settle on the bench, watching me. Even if I still felt pretty messed up, it was like a weight was taken from my shoulders.

-

I watched her punch the bag for a good while. She actually had talked to me. Spilled her thoughts and feeling about this. She's 100 focused when she punch the bag and now wasn't an exception, which gave me, time to really watch her. Immediately I knew what drew me to her. What she had that the other women hadn't. Her nice sides, her genuine kindness that had made me so fond of her. She had managed to keep a strong façade as an agent but still had that kindness. But there was her strength that made me open my eyes. When she confidently made a suspect sweat in interrogation, how cold she could be, pointing her gun at someone. She was so independent, yet kind. She'd stopped punching by now. She turned to me and gave me a smile. I love her smile.

"Thanks Tony. And I'm sorry, about…before"

"It's okay" I smiled back and stood from the bench. I went over to her and gently gave her a hug, sighing in relief and she wrapped her arms around me and leaned against my chest.

"See you tomorrow" I said as I reluctantly released my grip of her.

"Yeah. Thanks" she murmured. I gently pressed a kiss to her forehead before heading out of the gym, leaving Kate to throw a few more punches at the bag.

-

Out of the corner of my eye, I watched Tony leave. The spot where he kissed me still burning and immediately I knew how much I meant to him. I smiled as I turned back to the bag. He really cared about me. And he really knows me.

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**Author's Note: Desired sequel. If you want more, please tell me and I'll work on another chapter. It's so hard to come up with titles so from now on, I'll update with chapters. Please review. Means a lot to me. **

**//Ida**


	2. A Choice I Have

**Author's Note: Since all the reviews told me to do another chapter. Here it is. This time I skip the whole POV thing and follow up a tip Jos gave to me ;) I really hope you'll like it. Please review.**

**Disclaimer: **Not mine, but you all already know that

**Lyrics from: **_Beautiful liar_ by Beyonce & Shakira

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**Chapter 2 – A choice I have**

_When the pain and heartbreak's over  
I have to let go  
The innocence is gone_

Kate knew that she was back on square again. _The now very familiar square one_, she thought ironically. She'd ended up here more than a human being should have to. To count her relationships over the past three years on her fingers, she would need both hands and a few toes. And that was how many times she'd found herself alone, back on that damn square one. Now it was almost like this was what she expected every time she dressed up to go out on a date.

It was two weeks since she'd found out about Kevin. Or more exactly, since she chose to listen to Tony. Now, she stood by the window across from the bullpen, watching the rain pour down over D.C. It was a Saturday. The Saturday of the month when Gibbs forced them to come into the office and finish off all the paperwork that had gathered on their desks. It was only around two pm and all Gibbs' agents still had at least four hours left. Kate took a sip from her coffee as she focused on the raindrops breaking the surface of the water in the river. Gibbs had left for MTAC and all agents hade taken the possibility to do something more fun. McGee had run down to Abby. He'd mumbled something along the lines with; "virus ridden computers and Trojan horses" Kate barely knew what all that meant. Tony on the other was still in the bullpen, currently playing one of his games.

"Penny for your thoughts there, Katie" Tony's soft voice cut through the silence. Kate had been awfully quiet since their talk down in the gym. There weren't as many quick comebacks or comments. There weren't as many playful smiles, those smiles that made her whole face lit up.

"I'm not in the mood, Tony" Kate said silently as she strode back into the bullpen. She slowly sat down in her chair and tried to type her report.

"Well, you never seem to be anymore" Tony said and immediately regretted his words. This was the last thing she needed.

"Come again?" Kate lifted her eyes from the file.

"I just…I mean that you seem so…I don't know. Lost in thought" Tony tried to explain his comment. Kate glared at him.

"Well, I just figured out that the man I thought might be good for me, seemed to be dating someone else. Someone with blonder hair, taller legs and not with a job that forces you to fear for your life every day" Kate spat out. "He took the easy way"

"Kate, I..-"

"No, Tony. Please" Kate paused before she added "and I don't blame him"

"What do you mean by that?" Tony asked. Kate peered the ground, avoiding his eyes.

"I was just thinking that you know…it's a choice I have. Work or…a... family"

Tony sighed inwardly. He had to admit to himself that he had thought the same at a few occasions. Maybe that's why he chose those random nights with random girls. No feelings involved. No obligations and no one got hurt. It didn't matter if he had to rush back into work in the middle of the night. He wouldn't need to feel guilty for leaving. The easy way Kate was talking about. But on the other hand, he knew that Kate wanted the family life. She'd already told him that she wanted children some day. And now when Kate laid it out like this, as a choice, Tony couldn't help but believe that she might be right.

"I mean, it can't be easy to be married to someone who has to spend weekends and late nights, working" Kate continued, still not looking up at him. She sighed. "Well, I made the choice myself" Her slight vulnerability was gone again and she had used her mental strength to push away those thoughts.

"I've had the same thoughts a few times" Tony then blurted out.

"What?"

"That…easy way you were talking about. When I…choose the easy way out of my relationships by not calling" Tony shrugged, not actually believing that he spilled his inner thoughts to Kate who probably would tease him to death about it. But she just looked a bit taken aback.

"Oh, yeah I see your point. It's just that I…I'm suspicious against the really nice guys just because they seem too good. And the real bastards…" she paused and Tony knew she was talking about Kevin. "…they're the one who I really think is good"

Tony understood. "It's not your fault, Kate"

"Maybe, maybe not. I mean, I have myself to blame for this. I chose this job, you know. I know by all this cases we've worked, that having a partner in the army or in the law enforcement, means that you always risk to get that phone call…telling you that the person you love is never coming back" For a moment Kate looked vulnerable again. Even if Tony was glad she showed him that side, he still wanted her to be...happy.

"Yeah…I guess" was his only reply.

Kate shrugged again. "My grandfather was killed in the line of duty. He was a cop in New York. Was shot on a completely regular day at work. He did save two teenage boys from getting killed and my grandmother felt guilty because she thought that she would rather have her husband alive than those boys she didn't even know" Kate said with a low voice after a few moments of silence.

Tony nodded and slid back into his earlier thoughts. He understood what Kate was talking about. He really did. The world was cruel and not so innocent as it was before. But someone had to fight against it. Sometime you won and sometimes you lost. It was a gamble. When you went out your door you were never sure if you were coming back. Kate was now looking down at her file and Tony knew this conversation was over. They'd only had conversations like this once or twice before. Neither of them was good at talking. Maybe that's why Tony hadn't started that conversation he'd repeated in his head so many times before. The conversation about how much he felt for her and how he wanted to promise that he would do anything to make sure she always got home safe from work. And that he would never go away because she had to work. Tony smiled to himself. On one hand, a relationship between them would be ideal. Neither of them would be left alone when the other had to go to work. They would simply do it together.

Now Gibbs was back. He could sense a slight tension in the bullpen. Something had been exchanged between Kate and Tony. It had been the same when Tony had the plague. His agents had acted weird for a few weeks before they got back to normal. Suspiciously glancing at his co-workers, Gibbs seated himself by his desk to keep an eye on them while he finished his own report.

-

Five hours later, Kate walked across the parking lot towards her car. She'd done it again. Opened up to Tony, like she had down in the gym. She hadn't just opened up, she spilled a few of her inner thoughts. About her fear of being alone, of not getting home from work, about her beloved grand father, whos funeral she still remembered as it was yesterday. Now starting her car, Kate raced out of the parking lot. She took a detour to sort her thoughts. She hated when things got complicated, when her life wasn't floating peacefully. When she had to stop and really deal with something hard. Like complicated feelings like these. It wasn't just that Kevin had done this to her, but also that she suddenly had this fondness of Tony. She'd opened up twice, completely trusting him. Why? Why was she suddenly so grateful of the affectionate nicknames he gave her, the comfort she knew were always there? Groaning inwards, Kate turned right to take off towards her apartment.

She could really use a good nights sleep tonight.

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**Author's Note: Well, how was that? Please please review. I need them. And maybe you can tell me you think I should do with this story. Go on with the angst forever or maybe try to get them together? Another chapter maybe? Please tell me!**

**//Ida**


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